Nowadays when I type anything, be it office work, my scripts, stories or simply a blog entry, I have taken an extra step to take care of my grammar and English. After all those courses on gramar, I don't think I can shrug off that red flag that goes off when something in a sentence don't look correct.
Present is, past was; but even if the thing is mentioned in the past yet and yet it stills exists, we use "is".
However, someone in my life has cross-over from a "is" to a "was".
His name is Dr. Su.
Dr. Su is one of the profs in my office that serves the international student exchange portfolio with two of my colleagues, and I too has had the chance to work alongside with him when one of the colleagues went on maternity leave. Dr. Su had recently passed on suddenly after collapsing in the gym.
When I received the news, I spaced.
He's a nice man. He had contributed much to this world and to God.
I definitely will miss him smiling at me when we walked pass or when he called my name is his unique slurring, tongue-curling kinda way. I will definitely miss seeing him in the office when he comes round looking for my colleagues, and when I see his glossy high forehead which I so can related to to myself.
The girls in the office (my office happens to be all female), I believe are shocked and will still be in shock for quite awhile more, after Dr. Su's cremation tomorrow. The colleegue whom I took over her duties while she was away for maternity said that I wasn't close to him to get that much impact of his passing, but that was just her opinion.
To those who really knows me in and out, I'm a "people hoarder". Unless the fella I trusted with my entire life decides to betrays me or send me one round to hell which thereafter I wouldn't care about them no more, I will cry the most and the loudest when one friend tells me she/he's migrating to another country.
However when death is concern, I look at a total different concept than anyone else in the room.
Religious wise, I am a buddhist, my religion believes in reincarnation into the world after one passes on.
However, education wise, being in Catholic and Christian schools for a decade, all souls return home to the Lord after they passed on. In traditional Chinese ideology, everyone moans at a person's passing, in westerner's ideology of Christian faith, everyone celebrates of a soul's return to Jesus.
For me, I believe in both.
I believe in karma, deciphers as a cycle of cause and effect, of which cause are the actions we do in life, and effect are the results we reap from that actions. If you plant an apple seed, you reap an apple tree.
I also believe in the return of soul to Heaven, and on top of that I also believe in reincarnation.
All nature beings have their cycle to complete.
We come into this world, a world of temptations and suffering, and do reap whatever results we sow our actions into. If we make mistakes and do not make amendments, we will reap the results of that wrongdoings in our afterlife. In which when God calls us home, he will review all our actions in life and points out our mistakes, and from mistakes we learn, and God gives us another chance to come back to this world and try again.
It is just a matter of when.
Of course, this cycle does leaves whoever that was left behind a permanent side effect. We will miss the person who had passed on. We shed tears, we feel sad when we think of them because he/she is no longer beside them, and above all we are all emotional creatures. Emotions is actually more of a benchmarker of our actions in life and it is pretty normal to say that in logical terms.
But think about this, we come to this world as a single entity, we leave as a single entity. We come with nothing and we leave with nothing, Somethings are only something when we are still in this world.
For me, it is a natural cycle and everyone has to go through it.
As for sadness, I do feel sad, but not equates to tears as I have learnt that tears brings you nothing but dehydration, and through it all, I only can give my blessing to my love ones alive or passed on that they will have a better life, a renewed life, and be able to understand their meaning in life and the meaning of life.
Rest in peace this life, Dr. Su and many blessings and wishes for your new life ahead.
